The Road Back to Myself...
I grew up in a very loving family, who were very supportive. unfortunately I allowed different circumstances to get the better of me. I constantly struggled with my self worth, trying to get validation and acceptance from others. I didn't understand the importance of boundaries, or the necessity of respect in a relationship. Of course, as you can imagine, this wasn't a recipe for a very well rounded individual, who would make superior choices in relationships, or life for that matter. When I reached young adulthood, I had met the man of my dreams, my prince charming, the one who would save me and love me unconditionally until my dying breath (insert huge eye roll here). However, I did truly believe this for far too many years. I needed someone to save me, put my pieces back together. We had two beautiful children together, who are my little rays of sunshine most days, others they may resemble savage terrorists whom I periodically plea with for the release of my sanity, but regardless they are what make my heart sing.
Fast forward almost 8 years of a common law relationship, looking in the mirror was a meek little woman, who most days felt like a lost little girl. I kept quiet,not allowing myself to have a voice or opinions, but don't worry everything was "just fine". I was a shadow of others expectations. I did everything so when people looked at me they would think, whoa what a great mom, what a great partner, what a great person. But the truth is I wasn't great, I was bitter, I was beat down and I was empty.
I finally had enough, and bit by bit I started to open up to the people that supported me. What I love about these beautiful souls is they didn't say "okay we will pick you up and fix your crown" , instead they said " You got this, now get up and fix your own damn crown". They saw my worth, and they called me up into the woman they already saw that I was. This is when I WOKE UP! For the first time I saw me and the exciting part was I really liked her, she was pretty awesome! So, I made a decision to leave that relationship and go on an adventure of realizing myself worth, my capabilities and loving that woman. It wasn't easy, it was stressful ,some days I would put a show on for the kids and go in the bathroom and cry my eyes out because I was lonely, or I was exhausted trying to make ends meet, or worried about finances. However, I chose my hard and I will tell you one thing, I would take 100 days in that damn bathroom than 1 second back in that relationship.
I never liked the saying "you need to love yourself", I thought it was dumb and way to excuse selfish behavior. However, I realized how important loving yourself and loving your worth is. This is what allows your to attract healthy relationships, people who see your worth and respect it.
Today, I am now a proud mom of three beautiful babies with a husband who is not a prince, but an equal, who I know has my back and loves my worth.
This was a longer post than I wanted to write ( at least this isn't a recipe blog), but this is what I want for my clients, for them to experience loving their worth, not compromising their values and embracing all the positivity it can bring to them.